Mariane Doktor, servant and writer

A journey in creativity and faith

Fearing fear (Episode 1)

This is a guest poem by Billy Charles Root

 

In order that I deal with my fears

I must put away my tough guy veneer
I will write them all down right here
before my God and peers

“The only thing we have to fear
is fear itself”

-FDR, 1932

 

I fear, fearing fearFear
I fear fearing that which has no reason to be feared and not fearing that which does.

I fear what others think of me
How I look, what I wear, what I say and think, what, how and why I write.

I fear liking or even loving things that are a waste of said like and love
The babbling of crude jokes and cigarettes to smoke, fornicate TV
and I instead of we

I fear addiction to the mind control of men, having their minds controlled by men, having their minds controlled by the evil one

I fear never getting it right and failing with every sight day and night while pretending I’m alright

I fear sleeping,
Eye’s closed missing out , life passing by, not seeing the tomorrow come and the old become new

I fear dying,  dying before I’ve done what I’ve been created to do, falling short,  falling down and ending incomplete

I fear missing the point altogether and caring for perishable perishables

I fear forgetting,  forgetting why and what for and where next, what time and how much may be left , names and faces and love

I fear anger, am I capable of going too far if someone hurts me or hurts me by hurting them

Above all I fear most arriving at the throne with no crown to lay down and hearing      “I never knew you, depart from me you vile and wicked servant”

 

© Billy Charles Root