Mariane Doktor, servant and writer

A journey in creativity and faith

Author: Mariane Doktor (page 1 of 14)

Get up

Rain
tiredness
I can’t feel myself
A bird flies into the window
The body is a stone
Don’t wanna get up
The cold fingers
Write no more
I’m tired and hungry
I can’t do anything
Headache, autumn storm, October rain, moving mess and emptiness
I am powerless

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Grass withers

The wind
blows back and forth
withered grass

Empty me
of my emptiness
the old must die
the void must become fullness
the fullness of love

Grass withers
the word stands
forever

Not fast food

Why is God distant? But is He distant?
I believe I can find God in the same way as I find my phone, open the refrigerator, turn on the TV and run to buy groceries.
Many times I have to wait for hours, weeks, months and years on God. But I don’t want to wait any longer than five minutes.
I’m used to the comfortable life.
If we don’t want to cook or bake, we can buy a prepared meal.
If we don’t want to buy groceries, we can have them delivered.
The washing machine washes the clothes. The tumble drier dries the clothes. The dishwasher washes the dishes. The vacuum cleaner cleans the floor. The car is faster than our feet. The radio, tv and cell phone give us fast entertainment.
But God, you’re not fast food.
You’re not fast entertainment.
I can read in my Bible, and you’re still distant.
I can read a devotion and you’re distant.
I can listen to worship and you’re distant.
I can listen to a sermon and you’re distant.
I can read a Christian book and you’re distant.
I can attend church and you’re distant.
I can pray for five minutes, and you’re silent and distant.
You’re not an automate or a robot
You’re not a bottom or a pet
You’re not a doll
You’re not man-made
Your greatness and holiness are indefinite
God, help me listen to you
Help me to be more patient and humble

 

Advice from me to you

Dear reader

You are good enough. You have value because you are. You are beautiful. Be yourself. Allow yourself to be sensitive, to be angry, sad or afraid.

Allow yourself to dream and do what you’re passionate about. Take time to practice. Rome was not built in one day. Give thanks to God and pray for what you need. Confess your sins to Jesus and receive his forgiveness. Attend a church where Jesus is preached. Hold on to your hope, faith and love.

Don’t care about what other people think about you. Don’t fear men, but God.
Don’t desire to be a world champion, but do the things you love to do.
Spend time in prayer. Read the Bible. Pray with other Christ followers.

Don’t sit behind a screen all day. Read a book, write a poem, play the piano, go for a walk, play chess, bake a chocolate cake. Call your mom. Be with your friends.
Read plenty of books.
Write down your thoughts and emotions.
Eat healthy.
Get enough sleep.
Exercise in the way you like to exercise. Go outside and say hello to a bird.

Is there a way out of temptations?

She is almost done grocery shopping and is standing in the queue to payment when she hears a small voice: “mommy…” From the sound of hear voice she knows what her daughter is up to. She has discovered her favorite candy and asks her if they can buy it? It’s Monday which means there are four days to the day she can have her sweets. What is she going to choose? Will she give in to her because it’s 4 pm and they’re both tired and exhausted or will she tell her no?
While discussing with herself what to do, she knows deep down how her daughter feels. Last Thursday the mother went shopping. She passed by the biscuits, the cookies and the cakes. In a hurry, she passed by the chips and the soda before she stood in the queue to payment. Then she saw it. Her favorite bar of chocolate was for sale. She made an exception and bought a thing, which wasn’t on the grocery list. She said to herself she was going to save it until Friday. The same evening she and her husband and were watching TV when they agreed they needed something sweet. She fetched the chocolate. In a few seconds the whole bar was gone.
The mother stops discussing with herself.  A word comes out of her mouth,  and the girl is laying on the floor screaming, because she heard the word “no.”

Temptations. Every day we face many temptations.

One small piece of chocolate isn’t enough. Five minutes on Facebook isn’t enough. Quickly, five minutes become thirty minutes or sixty minutes. There are good things about Facebook, but for me there are more downsides. I’m not going to list them here, but I’m both the girl and the mother in the supermarket. I have to take the decision and allow the small girl in me to waste time on Facebook or listen to the mother in me who says “No!” I know what the right choice is, but the right choice is often the hardest and the most unpleasant one.

How can we overcome temptations and make the hard, but right choice?

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