A journey in creativity and faith

Tag: words

Liberation

 

Cold concrete

A smell of dust

And urine

Drops falling down from the ceiling

No. Drops from my eyes

Landing on my lips

The bars throw shadows of darkness

On my body

 

Words from whispers and letters

turned backs and fleeing eyes

Words inside my head

Shouting over each other

The words are parasites

eating brain cells

The words are strong as men

Shouting

Nothing

Worthless

Failure

Words dehumanize me

Vermin

Says the tag

Written on my soul

 

I lay against the wall

The wall stands firm and quiet

A witness to the soul eating words

An antique wall

Which I lean my tears against

Lashes, gobs and question marks

Are written on the wall

The wall is firm and quiet

While the words move down towards my heart

And my organs and veins

Lie rotting

My skin folds and shrinks

A tight noose around my neck

Gasping for breath

Fading within myself

Continue reading

Why it matters, what you tell others about yourself

I am unemployed

“Tell us about yourself.” I get this question 9 out 10 times when I’m at a job interview. Doesn’t the employer know how to read? He can see who I am in my job application and CV. No, he can’t. He wants to see and hear me tell him who I am. When I get this question, I tell him about my marriage, my kids, and what I have been doing since I graduated. I repeat the things in my CV. In the end, I tell him why I’m there; I am unemployed.

It’s the story about the identities society has given me. Society tells me that I’m a kindergarten teacher and a mother. For three years, society has been telling me that I’m unemployed. I could call myself a terrorist of society, a failure or a social outcast because this is what the word “unemployed” means to many people. For a long time, I denied being unemployed, but not anymore. What the word means to other people, is not my problem.

Who am I?

  1. My Unemployment Benefit Fund are raising their arms: “You have an education, you are a kindergarten teacher!” I look at the floor. I can’t find a job.
  2. I have relations. I am daughter, a sister, a niece, a cousin, an aunt, a daughter in law, a wife, a mother, a friend, a neighbor and a woman.

Who am I to myself?

  1. I am a human being created in God’s image. No one can deny my humanity. No one can question that every person has value.

I am a writer

I am also a writer. I began to write a diary when I was 8. I wrote poetry when I was young. I became an adult. A voice inside me said:

“You are not a writer because you haven’t published anything. You can’t become an author or a writer because no one wants to publish your books. No one reads books. Why write when your husband, children and job applications need you?”

An author told me: “You are not a writer for you haven’t published any books. You are an amateur writer.”

No. I don’t want to be an amateur. When I think about amateurs, I come to think about Dancing with the Stars, X-factor and stamp collectors. I connect these people with something temporarily, with a hobby. My writing is not a hobby, it’s a passion. I want to write even though books are an endangered species. I write even though no one reads my words. I write because I love to write. I am a writer. When I’m writing, I am alive.

Why the words “I am” are dangerous

 Be careful which words you put in the end, when you say “I am.”

In the Bible, Jahve, the Hebrew word for God, means “I am.” In John’s gospel Jesus tells us who he is; “I am”; “I am the bread of life.” “I am the good shepherd”, “I am the light of the world”, “I am the door”, “I am the resurrection”, “I am the true wine tree”, “I am the truth, the road and life.”

When I say “I am”, I create my own identity.

When you say “You are”, you create an identity for another person.

What do you tell others about yourself? Share in the comments.