A journey in creativity and faith

Author: Mariane Doktor (Page 8 of 14)

Out of Darkness

 

A power drill in my mind, building castles out of my thoughts.
The flesh is hungry, arms stretching out, and aspiring, planning, building highways
A plate with sweet fruits at my nose, my thought, my feeling
My ego weaving blankets out of moments and impulses, and they will vanish in a sewer
The flesh is dead, the shell is empty.
I can’t hide on the moon, on the couch, in the night, in sweets,
in the sunset, under my blanket, in nothingness or at the end of the world.

I have to get out and turn around. I’m broken, I can’t repair myself.
The high heels sink in the dirt. I stumble and the dress is no longer pink, but mud-colored
I fall on my knees and huddle as if the mud is a womb. I have to return to the light.

He must become greater, I must become less

I wake up to the sound of silence
And the song of a lark
The air tickles my cheeks
I open my eyes and see
A never-ending river of clear water
My feet hit something
Handcuffs on the ground
I meet a man, who is sitting on a rock
I ask him “Do you know whose those chains are?
“They’re yours” he answers, “Do you want them back?”
I shake my head
“Do you have faith?” He asks
I nod
He looks at the horizon
“All things are possible for Father”, he says
He arises and walks towards me

flod

 

Fill my empty hands

Fill my mind and my heart
with your water
I will catch every drop
remember each drop
How it feels on my skin

I was thirsty and you gave me water
I was dirty and you cleansed me
I called and you answered
Every good gift is from above

 

vand

Where do I find peace?

I stood in my kitchen reading on my phone when it was as if my body was filled with lead. 220 Assyrian Christians abducted by IS was the headline.  The lead began to speak words in my mind I had not heard for years.

Why don’t you stop? What good is it for?  You are useless, and no one loves you…why don’t you become like everyone else? Does God really exist, can you see him anywhere? Drink this cup of fear, then everything will be better. Deny, deny, deny. Say what they want to hear and you will save your life.

I lied down on my bed. My heart was restless, where could it find rest, peace?

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Why I must love islamists

I have been mourning the last days over the terrorist attack that happened in my country, Denmark, and the murder of 21 Christians Egyptians. I have been in chock, angry, sad, felt powerless, confused, and my thoughts have been racing back and forth, not knowing where to go. I mourn that a 22-year-old “kid” whose parents were refugees from Palestine, and he was born and raised and went to Danish schools, and he ended up the way he did. He was taught to hate Jews and apparently, he was radicalized in prison. I wish someone had preached the gospel to him. I cannot understand how he became an extremist. I cannot just blame his parents or the Islamic teaching he had received.

nun

I and many Danes feel that we have failed, as a society, and individually. We feel guilt that he didn’t feel he was a part of our society and didn’t believe in our values. It can happen again. I pray my nation’s politicians, judges, police, teachers and social workers can improve their work to integrate people in my nation.

 I have a feeling I haven’t done enough. Recently I’ve been more aware of what it means to follow Christ. I have not loved enough.  These days, I’m studying the commandments of love. As a part of my study I’m reading the Christian philosopher Søren Kierkegaard’s book, Works of love, which is about Christian love, agape, and I will refer to this book in the following text.

 I shall love my neighbor. My neighbors are not just my family and friends, my neighbors are everyone.  We are all human beings. The Danish philosopher K.E. Løgstrup said

“We never have anything to do with another human being without holding some portion of his life in our hands.”

I have a continuing debt to love other people (Romans 13:8).

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Fifty Shades of Fear vs. True Love

I read five sentences and thought this was poorly written. I read the whole page and I began to have an unpleasant feeling in my chest, I felt insecurity and fear. This book is supposed to be romantic.
The book I’m talking about is “Fifty Shades of Grey”. I remember when the book was launched some years ago, it was very popular in Denmark, but I didn’t pay much attention to the book. When I heard the book was dreadfully written and contained bondage, discipline, sadism and masochism, I decided the book was not worth of my money or time.
Now the book has been adapted into a movie, and I found it was important for me to take part in the discussion about the film. I had not read the book, but I found a free excerpt on the Internet and decided to read it, since I thought I should read some before coming to a judgment. The excerpt was 19 pages long, but I couldn’t endure more than three pages. I love reading and I am a writer myself, but these sentences were a pain to read. However, the quality of the text was not the worst part, the content was the worst. I read that one of the female protagonists Ana wakes up confused, doesn’t know where she is. When she sees Christian, the male protagonist, she has a strange feeling, she starts feeling like a 2 year-old, feels very small and whispers to Christian. He is described as a control freak, he hardly expresses any feelings, but seems cold, we are told he has stalked Ana, and she feels he scolds her. I get the impression that she’s afraid of him. I will also tell you that Ana is a 21-years-old virgin when she meets him.

Woman in fear

A quote from the movie: “No, please. I can’t do this, not now. I need some time. Please.” “Oh Ana, don’t overthink this.”

How people choose to spice their marriage and sex life with role play, sadism and masochism is none of my business, but I’m concerned about the young people of our society. What does this book and movie teach young women (and young men) about love and relationships?

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