And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God. And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus. (Luke 1:30-31)
Have you ever wondered how the story about Mary had sounded if it was written by a woman? I mean Mary was a special woman of faith, but I do believe she was a human being and had the same thoughts, feelings, joys and struggles, which normally follows a pregnancy. Mary was pregnant with the son of God. She was full of joy, and I imagine she felt both the impatience and joy of expectation like many women feel when they realize they are carrying a new life, a human being.
I remember the first time I felt the tiny toes kicking the inner side of my skin, and the first time I saw and heard the baby’s beating heart. My body changed, and my divine Father created a life and blessed it. He possessed and wrought my son’s reins. His love and life from above became real. I rejoiced, but the 9 months were longer than many other periods of my life. I was impatient because I could not wait to get rid of morning sickness and heartburn, and I could not wait to hold my son in my arms and see his smile.
When my due date was getting close, I tried to induce labor, but it was not in my power to do so. Only God knew when it was time.
Did this experience teach me that I have no power or control?
No. Now, seven years later, I’m pregnant again – though not with a child, but the gospel. God gave me a desire to tell the gospel, and I felt the same joy of expectations as I did when I was pregnant. I was like a child, who can’t wait to get her Christmas gifts. I was eager to tell the gospel, so I went on my own and I gathered other Christians in a group, and it was fantastic.
One day a person in the group came with a message, which I felt, did not belong in my Christian community. I was shocked and felt paralyzed. Luckily, a few good friends helped me find the right direction and set guidelines for our group. I’m thankful for my friends’ help and support. I had moved forward too quickly.
I have now learned I cannot hasten a birth of God’s divine messages or accelerate God’s actions in me or through me.
I must rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him (Psalm 37:7).
I should wait because I am a lifelong student at the school of life and Christ’s way. I can’t accelerate the speed of my feet to prepare the gospel of peace (Ephesians 6:15), and my body, mind and heart have limits. There are other tasks and people in my life, which need my time, efforts and love. I must wait and be patient.
I must remember the small ways I can tell the gospel, and may God help me love and serve my neighbor. The small things matter: prayers, smiles, holding a door, listening, being generous and giving thanks.