I stood in my kitchen reading on my phone when it was as if my body was filled with lead. 220 Assyrian Christians abducted by IS was the headline.  The lead began to speak words in my mind I had not heard for years.

Why don’t you stop? What good is it for?  You are useless, and no one loves you…why don’t you become like everyone else? Does God really exist, can you see him anywhere? Drink this cup of fear, then everything will be better. Deny, deny, deny. Say what they want to hear and you will save your life.

I lied down on my bed. My heart was restless, where could it find rest, peace?

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