Mariane Doktor, servant and writer

A journey in creativity and faith

Tag: Jesus (Page 5 of 6)

Come to life

March 24, 2015 / / 0 Comments

I see my reflection in the shop window.
My limbs are stiff,
I can’t feel my body
I can’t move.
They take the dress of me
pants and blouse instead.
I lose my arm.
A person bumps into me
I lose the other arm and both legs
Where is my head?
Assemble me!
A person screws me together quickly

 

The silence of the closing hours is sneaking
The light is off
Darkness creeps in
The city is empty
I am empty
I’m stiff
I try to move
I hit the window
The glass cracks
A trembling clatter
Glass shatter

 

I fall
My head hits the cold asphalt
I lose my arms and legs again
Iooking at the starry sky

 

A Sound of foot steps approaches
The feet stop at my hair
The man bends down
He puts me together
raises me
A red drop rolls down my leg
I bleed
My limbs are not rigid anymore
I can move my arms and legs
He approaches me
Breathes into my mouth
My chest moves
He looks me in the eye

 

My feet are wet
as standing in a puddle
I want to move the feet
But discover that I’m standing
in the middle of a rippling source
Still water
Trickles out of his body
I bow and take a sip
I breathe
I feel my heart
I am alive

Mannequin

Out of Darkness

March 16, 2015 / / 2 Comments

 

A power drill in my mind, building castles out of my thoughts.
The flesh is hungry, arms stretching out, and aspiring, planning, building highways
A plate with sweet fruits at my nose, my thought, my feeling
My ego weaving blankets out of moments and impulses, and they will vanish in a sewer
The flesh is dead, the shell is empty.
I can’t hide on the moon, on the couch, in the night, in sweets,
in the sunset, under my blanket, in nothingness or at the end of the world.

I have to get out and turn around. I’m broken, I can’t repair myself.
The high heels sink in the dirt. I stumble and the dress is no longer pink, but mud-colored
I fall on my knees and huddle as if the mud is a womb. I have to return to the light.

He must become greater, I must become less

I wake up to the sound of silence
And the song of a lark
The air tickles my cheeks
I open my eyes and see
A never-ending river of clear water
My feet hit something
Handcuffs on the ground
I meet a man, who is sitting on a rock
I ask him “Do you know whose those chains are?
“They’re yours” he answers, “Do you want them back?”
I shake my head
“Do you have faith?” He asks
I nod
He looks at the horizon
“All things are possible for Father”, he says
He arises and walks towards me

flod

 

Where do I find peace?

March 2, 2015 / / 0 Comments

I stood in my kitchen reading on my phone when it was as if my body was filled with lead. 220 Assyrian Christians abducted by IS was the headline.  The lead began to speak words in my mind I had not heard for years.

Why don’t you stop? What good is it for?  You are useless, and no one loves you…why don’t you become like everyone else? Does God really exist, can you see him anywhere? Drink this cup of fear, then everything will be better. Deny, deny, deny. Say what they want to hear and you will save your life.

I lied down on my bed. My heart was restless, where could it find rest, peace?

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Good news

December 27, 2014 / / 4 Comments

News

3 injured in shooting at Florida State, Ebola Liberia, Japanese woman poisons her husband, war against Islamic State, obesity costs Britain $73 billions, suspect in subway, seven people are killed at a hospital in China

The good news is

An alien from space
comes down on earth
he is the baby
born in a stable
he is the servant
who loves killers, cheaters, and liars
he is the white lamb
which is slaughtered
he is the blood
which cleans the infected lawbreakers
who say “I believe”
he is the bread
which gives souls eternal nourishment
he is the water
which resuscitates the dry hearts
he is the air
which lives inside the holy breed
he is the light
that never goes out

Mary and Jesus

 

I Didn’t Want to Be a Jesus Freak. Why Would I?

December 22, 2014 / / 0 Comments

Christmas is arriving in a few days. Have you room for Christ this Christmas? Is there room for Christ in your heart?  I’m honored to host a guest post by Brenda McGraw, author of Joy Beyond, 28 days to finding joy Beyond the clutter of life. Brenda Mcgraw’s shares her testimony about how Jesus never stopped knocking on the door to her heart.  Merry Christmas!

 

Jesus Freak

 

At the young age of thirteen, when I thought I knew everything, I remember rejecting the Savior of the world. In my mind I would make fun of people whom I considered Jesus freaks, and I sure didn’t want to be one. I thought I was having too much fun living the party life. My fun led to a long road that ended in failure. I didn’t make room in my heart and my heart led me astray.

The beautiful words of a Christmas song we sing every year go like this:

“Joy to the world! The Lord is come
Let earth receive her King!
Let every heart prepare Him room
And heaven and nature sing

Joy to the world! The Savior reigns
Let men their songs employ
While fields and floods
Rocks, hills and plains
Repeat the sounding joy

He rules the world with truth and grace
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness
And wonders of his love.”

Many times we just skim the words and don’t really read them. But this is how I see it:

One verse says, “Let every heart prepare Him room.”

At thirteen I didn’t prepare God room; I didn’t believe in the empty tomb.

At sixteen Jesus was not in the hidden holes of my heart; He waited patiently for me to get smart.

When I was nineteen and getting married, my heart was focused on loving a man; no relationship with the right man, Jesus, began.

When I turned twenty-four, after all the years of no spiritual focus, came along the devastating breast cancer diagnosis.

Did I prepare room then?

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